Feeling Blue

So I've been feeling just like the post title is saying "blue". Sometimes everything just catch up with a person without you even knowing. My daughter has been sick a lot and in hospital recently, I had to write an exam in that time ( last year after my maternity leave clever me went back to studying). So picture being mom, wife, working and part time studies haha, I can just laugh at myself, its no joke. So I obviously choose my daughter, I would do it over and over again ,I just thought the hell with the exam, I can do that again but my daughter I won't get back if something should happen to her. 

So I guess all the stress, worry, little sleep and poor eating habits just caught up with me and made me sick, I haven't been eating well, it's like I just eat more than usual under stressful situations,I don't care what I eat and I haven't been exercising at all for a while now, so I picked up a few kilos :( Then to top it off I got so sick last week I couldn't get out of bed my body was so sore, I took so much meds just to feel better , I think my body just couldn’t fight anymore. 

I felt so negative and sad and thought to myself I don't want my daughter picking up those negative energy, I need to pull myself together and make peace with the fact that I couldn't write all my exams and in return more time wasted, it already takes forever to study part time, but the most important thing is my daughter is fine and I spent my time with her when she needed me the most and that's all that counts. The thing is as people we tend to concentrate so on worldly things(dunya) and being successful in this life that we sometimes forget what's most important in life, I'm at a point in my life where I just feel to be mom to my daughter and that's it.This week has been much better, I'm feeling my mad old self again,  I'm grateful for everything, Alhamdulilaah and Happy Weekend to you beauties ♡

Outfit details  

Black Sequin Top, Denim Jacket, Skirt,scarf all Edgars 

Shoes : Sissy Boy  (Edgars)

Bag :Nine-West (Edgars)

Midi Rings : Legit 

Earings :Fashion Express 

Watch : Guess 

Armband :Zuri and Guess

Belt & Sunglasses : Yde

Thank you for reading my blog :) and Keep Shining 

xo Nadia SS ♡ 

Mother's Day

So the day is here, the day where some will see their children for the first time this year, where some will get spoilt and pampered and some won't even get a call or a flower. Yep that's the reality of what's happening, I ask myself the question,how do you do that to your own mom,the one that brought you in this world? They say Jannah(Heaven) lies at the feet of your mother.

For all the years when we where struggling to fall pregnant I always wanted to be a Mom and celebrate Mother's day,just to be part of it, I remember in May 2011 just before Mother's day when I lost my first baby bean (had an Etopic Pregnancy  and lost my one Fillopian Tube) I thought I'd never have children and never celebrate mothers day and here I am on my second mommy's day with my baby almost two and thinking of planning baby number two. hehe all too good to be true,I'm so grateful,algamdulilaah ♡ she is my angel.
So for all the gorgeous women out there struggling to fall pregnant, keep the faith,keep the hope and never stop praying and believing,miracles do happen.

I never understood the reason why Mommies always had tears in their eyes for any phony reason like watching something on tv,reading something or just watching their kids do things ,  becoming a mom, I now understand why, ,,the joy,the pride the love they hold in their heart for that little one that makes them so soft.
Our children are our Angels send from Allah _ God .When pregnant we carry them near our hearts for months ...they hear our heartbeat.

Our mom's did a great job raising us, teaching us right from wrong, teaching us religion, school work, house work,some stayed home some had to work to make a living like mine, even though my mom were always working, I understood, I knew why she had to work, for me, but I never forgot what she thought me.And I'll always be grateful for that, Love you mom. This Unconditional love I now experience makes me realise how much I mean to my own mom.
To those of us that still have our mom's with us,we sometimes don't realise how lucky we are, myself included, this will be the first Mother's day my husband will be without his mom, a lot will feel lonely, lost and sad while others will be celebrating and enjoying the day with their mothers.

Being Mom is a tough, tiring, exhausting, never ending, non paying job , but I wouldn't trade it for anything, my daughter makes me so tired at times but brings me soo much more joy and happiness :)

To all the mommies out there ...
You all doing a pretty good job
Even though at times it feels like we failing
Like we cant go on,
we want to dissappear,
we want to give up, we can't move forward,
we tired all the time,
we do so much and neglect ourselves
yet get so little appreciation at times
Just remember, We, Us,You,
-> We doing an Awesome job,
♡Happy Mother's Day♡

In my first week as a mom, experience  unconditional love 

Myself with my Mommy and my daughter 

My first Mother's Day 🌸 2014

This beautiful poem I got from a other mommy blog, its so beautiful and so true just had to share, beware the tears......

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you had freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

To the person who wrote this poem, Thank You.

Wow this just made me so emotional and brought sad tears to my eyes, to think it will all come to an end but we don't realise it as they grow. This again just a reminder what motherhood is about and how important it is to treasure every moment of it, the good and bad.

Again Happy Mother's Day ♡ Enjoy your day.

Baby Bum-Bums

 

It's twelve and I'm on my third cup of coffee for the morning already, but what can you do if you so tired and need to stay awake for babies sake. We on day five already in the hospital, keep thumbs that we go home today, gosh a person get no rest in this place but at least the food is good and I don't have to cook, hehe.

Shazia going straight for the pudding, lol

Shazia's breakfast 

The last time I wrote a post like this was in January when baby Shaz was admitted, we where doctor in, doctor out and no one could tell us what was wrong with her,for weeks she was vomiting every time she coughed, until she was hospitalized and several tests where taken and they found out it was a disease called Pertusses  ,read more about it here mothers-instinct

So here we are again, same thing , we saw different doctors and pharmacists in the last three weeks but no one could really help her. I just feel so frustrated, tired, angry,emotional all at the same time, to think she must always be hospitalized for them to take the matter seriously and to find out what is wrong with her ,after I've been explaining the same thing to all of them,or must it go on for weeks before its serious.Don't get me wrong I have nothing against doctors ,infact I always  admire them for their hard work and little sleep, but when it gets to my daughter its a different story.(says every mom ever).
Well let me start from the beginning, it started with just a runny nose, the next day me and hubby decided she stay home because she didn't look too good and her eyes where red, then the night the fever started, vomiting and diarrhoea .The next morning she was so sick and weak, lack of energy,  she was just crying whole time, so to the doc we went and he said she's got an all-in-one ,ear and eye infection, nose and throat,vomiting and diarrhoea.After a few days of taking medicine and antibiotic(gosh seems like my poor child live of antibiotics) she was fine, besides the diarrhoea. Days passed and still the diarrhoea didn't stop, So I went to the pharmacy to get stuff where they told me to take her off milk for at least twenty four hours and just give glucose water and nothing else not even food , gosh how on earth am I going to do that, we just walking out the pharmacy there she's already asking for chippie. So that didn't quite work out because after a few hours I felt too sorry for her, she was hungry and crying for milk, so maybe that's why the glucose water didn't work, so ya her tummy was still the same and well the ointment and powder thing they gave didn't work.I thought I'd give it a few days maybe it will go away ,it just got worse, so bad that every time I cleaned her bum I cried with her, my husband thought I'm mad but seriously I couldn't take it anymore ,he had to take over, her bum was so bad, raw and bleeding and not getting better ,obviously because the poo not stopping.

So our next stop after another few days was the 24hour emergency at the hospital, they still didn't admit her to get better,just gave ointment and things to drink again.I would have been so happy if this doctor just booked her in, but he said she's fine and she's eating and drinking and not vomiting.I know but the poo not stopping and her bum just getting worse. By then I was so tired already of cleaning bum whole day, she was scared of cleaning because it hurts ,she didn't even want to sit in a bath, the pampers where just flying up to fifteen nappies a day, money don't grow on trees do they.
 I've been trying different bum creams, I let her walk around for few minutes for it to dry out a little, this one says try this,that one says try that, my word, what works for one might not work for the other, everyone is different,but I rather won't name all the stuff because maybe it does work but just because the diarrhoea didn't stop it didn't help. It's almost three weeks, doctors,pharmacies, everyone's advice, I'm fed up so I just decided to use vaseline, pure clean unscented vaseline, old people remedy.

So after all this drama and going for week three already with diarrhoea, then I saw blood in her poo, phoned the pediatrician, explained everything to the receptionist and she was so helpful and kind, even though they where fully booked she got me an appointment with the pead, I knew he was going to book her in so I already packed her bag.So after taking tests on bloods, urine and poo and what ever else, It was found that the bad bug was caused by antibiotics previously taken, and she's getting the correct treatment now and not the next best thing they think is needed for diarrhoea, this isn't just any diarrhoea.
Clostridium difficile Infection (info taken from here Cdiff-patient)
Take antibiotics only as prescribed by your doctor. Antibiotics can be life-saving medicines.  When a person takes antibiotics, good germs that protect against infection are destroyed for several months. During this time, patients can get sick from C. difficile picked up from contaminated surfaces or spread from a health care provider’s hands.

I feel grateful that the core of the problem was found but doctor checked her ears and she needs to see the ENT now again, doctor said get it sorted while we here,one thing after another.

Here's babies that's so sick and has diseases so bad that this problem seem so small, my heart goes out to them and their parents, we can only say is Algamdulilaah(all praise be to Allah ) , she's a live, she's with us,  she's fine and healthy besides the poo and bum,and it won't be long then we back home.

And to end of on a good note, in this difficult time I managed to get her of her beloved dummy, yeah! No more looking for dummy.I can't believe how easy it was, after a day of no dummy she asked where it is so I said dummy gone, she repeated after me saying dummy gone and showed with her hand, asked me several times on different days and I told her each time mommy told you dummy gone :)
On that about always looking for babies dummies, my new instagram friend and great business minded mommy is selling hand made Braided Leather Pacifier Clips she makes herself by the way, l will definitely be buying them for my second baby because I'm always looking for dummies,go check it out on her blog here follow link
Here's a picture of Shaz while being sick at home and last days with dummy,still so naughty while sick.

As a mommy I always tend to feel guilty when my precious angels get sick ,we as mommies ask ourselves is it something we did, but its not our fault, babies get sick very quickly, they pick up germs anywhere and there's nothing we can do about it.I guess we can only be there for them,look after them to the best of our ability, care and give all the love we have.

My reason for writing about my daughters sickness is to inform other mommies, so if the same happen to them they will know what to do,what not to do,how quickly to react and not go through the long channels of suffering like me.
   
                                                                         Thank you for reading and keep Shining ♡ Nadia SS ♡